Should a bio father/drug addict be allowed in my child's life after 9 years?
I was never married to my son's father and he has paid maybe a total of $600 over the past 9 years. He's been in and out of rehab this ENTIRE time with a crack and heroin addiction which he acquired after I gave birth. When he was clean I allowed him to see my son but he was careless and clueless. I paid for a visit to his state so he could see and all pictures sent to him. I gave him ample opportunities to shape up (7 years) and now I'm fed up. My son is now 9 and the dad has only been clean for 2 mths and expects visitation. His emails to me are distorted and senseless as if he's got real mental issues. I do not want him influencing my son at all. My son is sweet, has a beautiful home, great school, plays basketball and has a loving family. How can an absent worthless father with emotional and drug problems be allowed in a child's life? I live in Texas.. does the father have a chance? I told him that he's been clean for 6 mths and he's even been clean for a year but he ALWAYS goes back and will not have this yo yo-ing in my son's life. I said that he needs to stay clean for 2-3 years, have a residence, a car and show that he's responsible by paying child support. Well, it's only been one month since I've told him this and he's acting all pyscho saying he'll take me to court. He even said this "I will not struggle my dear, I will proper. I believe in spirituality and the law of attraction. My good deeds wil not go without a reward. My energy is positive and my affirmations will be set in stone. Like it or not we will know each other until the transformation of conscisness." Now - does this sound like a sane person? I am so angry. I gave him 9 years and he's done NOTHING and now he thinks he has rights? I think every child needs a father but not if he's a bad influence. Thank you to all who have answered. I think I'll just delete his emails without reading them and hope he doesn't stalk my son. I will not respond to him until he hires a lawyer (if that ever happens). I just need reassurance that I'm doing the right thing. I just want what's best for my son.
Family - 9 Answers
People's Answers, Critics, Comments, Opinions :
Answer 1 :
allow him to see his son if he stays clean for longer. make sure he wont go back on the drugs and tell him if he does there is no more chances. this man was silly enough to take drugs, but some people dont understand how addictive they are, he may have been trying his best to get off them...
Answer 2 :
Don't let him. If he trys to go to Court or something you can fight him off for a couple years at least with the legal system. After that if he is still clean, which is pretty unlikely, it might be OK. I wouldn't let him meet your son unless he's at least a few years clean and only under tight supervision.
Answer 3 :
You should as a rule never deny a child their birth parents. However, if he is a danger to your son, then the only way he should be allowed is with supervised visitation. I would consult a lawyer to make sure of this.
Answer 4 :
You have to document everything that is important, showing that the father is unfit for visitations. Go to family court services and get full custody of your son. Do a restraint order on the father if necessary. Make sure that you be very thorough and be in detail as to why the father should not be around. I'm sure the father doesnt stand a chance, but you never know what the court will do. Remember that this is for the safety and well being of your son. Not for personal issues.
Answer 5 :
honestly i dont think he does... i no someone who did that and he will never see his son again its gurenteed
Answer 6 :
I am a firm believer that once a drug addict always a drug addict. Do not let him in your son's life. If your son is doing good without him, keep it that way. If the father really wants to see him he will take you to court and I would welcome that with open arms and push for supervised visitation!
Answer 7 :
This can only be resolved through the courts. Let your lawyer know what's happening and follow his/her directions to the letter. Do not allow yourself to be dragged into a discussion with the father. The court will decide based upon what is right for the child, not him. Keep on loving and caring for your son, and let the legal system deal with his father.
Answer 8 :
he dont sound like a father he is just a sperm doner i would move to another state before id let him have a relationship with that child life is hard enough on a kid these days what in the world could this man offer this child the mans a looser dont let him around your child good luck
Answer 9 :
If I had a child I certainly wouldn’t want that sort of guy in my kids life. If he was serious about wanting to be apart of his kids life he’d do what you ask , get a stable job, perhaps get an apartment close to where you live. I would advice you not to delete the emails he has sent you its possible if he did take you to court they could be used as evidence of his instability.
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