help, i want to contact my mama? longish but please help me

help, i want to contact my mama? longish but please help me?
okay where to start... i was bad kid. i did drugs for 14 years and my parents found out almost a year ago when i started getting arrested. when they sent me to rehab they gave custidy to my daddys parents. my mom and dad are still togeather. so when i got outta rehab i moved to texas from ohio to live with my grandparents theyre in there late 50s. so it sucks here. really. i have no friends and they wont let me make friends and i do online school and yeah:( and i slept with my contacts in and didnt change into my PJs. and nobody had told me i'd get in trouble for doing that, but you know what they did? no cell, no house phone. im not even allowed to call my mom and dad. no internet (they don't know my school computer goes to this website, but it blocks email so yeah) no contact with my bestfriends till i'm 18(who have never used drugs and live in illionis and theyve helped me with a lot and my parents told me i was only staying here for awhile and ive been off drugs for 5 1/2 months:( and i dont think theyll let me go back with my parents but its not fair) follow all other house rules (which gives me a bedtime and a wake up time. I'm 16.) and i snuck calling my dad and he said he was done with me!! and i want to try my mom and see if she'll still do something and i want her to take me home and i swear i'll follow there rules and i wont mess up again but I AM NOT STAYING HERE. but theres no way to call my mama. i could sneak it but i dont know here new number and i cant do email on this computer and they always have there laptops with them and never leave me home alone. so can you help me find a way to contact my mama? she has a myspace but i obviously cant get to that and i cant email her and yeah:( i know its bad because i guess i didn't know how great they were until i had to live with my grandparents:( and i'm not even allowed to cry here, they say i make myself cry to get them to feel bad for me and i don't!! what can i do to get ahold of my mama? i meant four years sorry! dude i said i ment fours years, I didn't see that i marked 14 years, i meant four.
Family - 5 Answers
People's Answers, Critics, Comments, Opinions :
Answer 1 :
Let's do some math here. You are 16 now and you were doing drugs for 14 years? That means you started doing drugs when you were 2 years old. I find most of your story sad but I am having trouble believing you. Please get counseling.
Answer 2 :
You started doing drugs when you were 2?? hmmm... I think it's pretty terrible you aren't allowed contact with your mom, but I also think that she and your grandparents love you and they are only trying to help you. You are 16. It seems you really just want to move home to escape the strict rules set in order to ensure you don't get into trouble again. I would say suck it up for 2 more years and then you can do whatever you please. In the meantime, maybe try a little harder to gain some freedom. Do your homework, keep your room clean, take out your contacts, change your clothes, bathe, etc...basically act like a 16 year old instead of a 5 year old and maybe your grandparents will treat you like one. It sounds like you have really just gotten into a lot of trouble, betrayed their trust in the past, and are now proving to them that you havne;t changed by keeping this negative attitude. Kill them with kindness. Be OVERLY responsible. Once they get the point that you are making an effort to gain their trust back, maybe they will let you have a little more freedom. Good luck and I wish you all the best.
Answer 3 :
Call child protective services(CPS)and tell them you want to see your mother.You can get the CPS number by calling 411 and ask the operator to give you CHILD PROTECTIVE SERVICES phone number.You need to find a way to get to a phone.Ask a stranger if you have too.
Answer 4 :
I believe you need to ask them about going to counseling. You need someone to talk to. Also remember trust is a very hard thing to get back once you lose it. Sound like all of you need to go to couseling for you to vent and help you understand their chooses, and for them to learn to communicate fairly. I find sometimes I'm to strict on my 14 year old. I just don't want to feel like I'm failing her. sounds like more communication is needed go to a school counseler, and no matter what stay in school. What you make of school is what you make of life... Godd luck to you.
Answer 5 :
Have you pressed the wrong number on your age, because if you haven't then your a hopeless liar. Your 16, 16 minus 14 equals 2! You started doing drugs when you were two? Wow, that is precocious, where'd you score them? Pre-school? Look, I know that the mean age of drug users has lowered over the last few years, but that's ridiculous. So is expecting anyone to believe you. So tell me, are your pants actually on fire?

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child support and custody

child support and custody
Me and my wife have 2 children together and i have a 4 year old son with another women and i just got back in his life after about 2 years because i moved away and traveled for my job and we are starting to see him now and I'm trying to get joint custody of him but i owe the mother back child support would they still look at me as a bad father if i was trying to get him back into my life and had a stable home and job ..and the mother is living off the government and she got arrested for heroin and child neglect with injury and the child was sexually abused while he was in foster care and they wouldn't like me take my child because he was in wv and i was in tx i would have had to quit my job and move back up here and never would have found a job here or a house in that amount of time so he stayed in foster care for 7 months while she was in rehab just getting a slap on the wrist..so what do you think my chances are of getting joint custody I'm trying to make everything rite nsf and for the record for those of you that think i left my x for a nother women because im just a dead beat your wrong because I didn't she was abusive to me mentaly and physicly and what was i suppost to do when all she ever did was fight with me infront of my child and leave me when he was 6 months old and went with a drug addict that i didn't know about untill she went to jail for narcotics so there for im not the bad one and i have had it ruff the past 2 years every job is dead end she went to court stating i made 2700 a month when i was in texas and i was only making 1200 a month and they exspected me to pay her 500 a month so i dont know how that works but yeah!
Marriage & Divorce - 2 Answers
People's Answers, Critics, Comments, Opinions :
Answer 1 :
Oh Im sorry you are a wonderful man, getting better and better. you left her because she was abusive and you couldnt handle it but you expected your son to handle her. Right? And its ok if she goes off with a drug addict with your son, because you have had it rough. Im just wondering, Who do you think has had it more rough you or your son?
Answer 2 :
yea, your a real prince, you deserted that child and left him to deal with someone you couldn't deal with, if you had been visiting and oh seeing him regularly you would have known these things, yes they do let children go with parents across state lines buddy, they just have cps watch them in that state, THE REAL REASON THAT THEY DIDN'T LET YOU TAKE HIM TO TEXAS WAS BECAUSE YOU ABANDONED HIM YOU FOOL OH YOU POOR BABY YOU HAD IT ROUGH FOR THE LAST 2 YEARS HOW ROUGH DO YOU THINK HE HAD IT AND HE WOULDN'T HAVE BEEN IN FOSTER CARE AND BEEN MOLESTED IF YOU HAD BEEN A MAN AND STOOD UP FOR YOUR BOY, SO YOU ARE EVEN MORE TO BLAME THAN SHE IS WHY YOU ASK, BECAUSE YOU HAD ALL YOU WITS ABOUT YOU AND SHE WAS IN A CLOUD OF DRUGS, NOT AN EXCUSE FOR HER BUT A REASON, they wouldn't have believed her about the money if you cared enough to contact the court and just mail them a stupid pay stub, of course they still think of you as a bad father because you are and you will continue to be UNTIL YOU STOP WHINING, BLAMING OTHERS AND ACT LIKE A GROWN UP, THIS CHILD WOULD BE BETTER OFF WITHOUT YOU IN A GRANDPARENTS CARE OR SOMETHING UNTIL YOU GROW UP AND STOP BLAMING OTHERS FOR YOUR SHORTCOMINGS, DALE T

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I'm at rope's end...what should I do

I'm at rope's end...what should I do?
My parents divorced when I was 8 years old. I lived with my father for a few years and I loved it. Then, I lived with my mother (and still am) and I've always hated it. While my father was unable to provide basic needs such as healthcare insurance and even sometimes electricity or water... he still treated me like a human being and loved me. While my mother was able to provide those things, she was not (most of the time) loving. I found out later she had been doing drugs for the past 10 years and she went to rehab. Before she went to rehab, she had tried to commit suicide -- more than once. She lost her nursing license due to her drug addiction. She's now in a job she hates married to someone she hates and she takes all her anger and frustration out on us kids. She is bipolar and verbally abusive, without mercy. Now I've come to the point where I've had enough of my mother's abuse. I want to live with my father, but I don't know what to do... Currently, he lives in GA for a month and a half. In about three weeks he will find out if he has to move to TX for his job. I am willing to leave my friends for this move (keep in mind I have one year of high school left). By moving to Texas, I will lose my Hope Scholarship in GA (if I even get it). However, if I move back to GA after my senior year of high school and live there for a year I will get it back. Anyways, the real reason I'm posting this question is out of desperation... My mother's side of the family is butchering my decision to live with my father. They're making him out to be the bad guy, when I know it's my mother who is the abusive one. Day after day I receive phone call upon phone call yelling at me or begging me or criticizing me. I feel like a shiny new toy that both my mother and father want. The arguments say I shouldn't live with my father because he may not be able to provide for me like in the past. The other side says I shouldn't live with my mother because she is abusive. My father says I should live with him because he will be able to provide for me... a maybe. His new job will be able to do so, but what if he doesn't get this job? Should I just trust him and go? My mother says I should live with her because I will be secured health insurance and a home, etc. Even though it is "hell" to live here... Honestly, I am so sick of everyone yelling at me and I cry for hours everyday because of this. I didn't mean to hurt anyone and I don't want to offend anyone and I don't know what's good for me anymore. I honestly believe that just by ending it all, just by running away or by committing suicide myself I can end my problems and anyone else having to deal with me. I don't know what to do, but right now all I want to do is leave or just kill myself. I'm so sick of all of this and I think I could just stop everyone else's worrying as well...What should I do? Please understand my situation. I'm at the rope's end...
Marriage & Divorce - 5 Answers
People's Answers, Critics, Comments, Opinions :
Answer 1 :
Go to your father ... stop thinking about it , just go . You are torturing yourself . If it is that serious to you and you can't wait til you graduate high school ... then just leave .
Answer 2 :
Whatever you do--don't kill yourself. Things will get better. Stay with your mom, btw. She needs you more at this point.
Answer 3 :
It is so sad that you have to be worried about how you will be provided for and decide between that or abuse. Since you are of age, you can always get a part time job and assist financially if you feel you will truly be happier with your dad. However, your father can amend the child support order and require your mom to pay child support and health insurance. Just an idea...
Answer 4 :
Quit worrying about everyone else right now. Do what you feel is best, and you've wrote that it be your with your dad, so GO! Life is not about money, you can't take it with you when you die so why let it ruin your life. Your dad apparently loves you and u need him, just go.
Answer 5 :
Yes, go with your dad. Go where you will be happy. No one is ever sure how life will turn out, just go with what makes you happy. Everything else will fall into place.

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i need to put my mother in a home

i need to put my mother in a home?!?
my mom is living in alabama at the moment and i live in texas. my sister has pretty much disowned her. she is a drug attict, she wants everyone to take care of her, and she is very manipulative, she is 56 yrs old. she makes up illnesses and gets doctors to prescribe her LARGE amounts of pills, and she smokes weed, right now she is on speed/meth too. i want to put her in a home, wether that be mental, old folks, or rehab i dont know. i think it would be good for everyone especially my mom. if i could do this they might be able to find out what is REALLY wrong with her, and get someone to rashon her the right medications, she would be taken care of, i would visit often, and it would benifit all of our mental health. she is incompitent to take care of herself. anyways how would i go about doing something like this? is it possible?how much would this cost? ect...? plz help! no rude answers. alright i got the name and number of her doctor. what questions do i need to ask him??
Family - 6 Answers
People's Answers, Critics, Comments, Opinions :
Answer 1 :
Contact her physician. He/she should be able to help you.
Answer 2 :
The first thing you must understand about addiction is that alcohol and addictive drugs are basically painkillers. They chemically kill physical or emotional pain and alter the mind's perception of reality. they make people numb. For drugs to be attractive to a person there must first be some underlying unhappiness, sense of hopelessness, or physical pain. In Texas call toll free 1-866-412-2867. In Alabama 1-800-784-6776. Good luck with your mother. God bless you for helping your mother. I will have you in my prayers.
Answer 3 :
Legally there is very little you can do to outright force her. You could try to get her ruled incompetent but thats hard especially in the south. Your best bet is prolly to use financial or other means of pressure. Your mom needs help.
Answer 4 :
my twin brother is an alcoholic and drug user, i mean from the time he gets up in the morning to the time he passes out, he is loaded. it is totally sad! I am sorry to hear about your mom, i would suggest baker acting her, but i didn't work for my brother all he did when he got out was get drunk and take his pills. i wish the best for you and your mom.
Answer 5 :
Your mother is going to have to "hit rock bottom" before she will come and ask for help. You have to walk away, and let her know you will be there when she needs help getting clean. TOUGH LOVE It will be the hardest thing to do, but if you love someone, you have to walk away until they come to understand they need help. Some times they never come to their senses. That is something you also have to deal with. You need to talk to her Dr. and tell him she is abusing her meds, and that she needs to be put in a program. Some times they have long term programs that will keep her in there until she learns her problems, but the DR. might have to have it ordered, thru the courts.
Answer 6 :
talk to her doctor.

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Is my marriage doomed

Is my marriage doomed?
My husband of 4 years and I have two small children. I found out he was hiding a drug addiction, got him help, didn't work, and left him. He went to texas to go to rehab, then checked out after a week and I didn't hear from him for almost two weeks, (unreturned phone calls, etc..). After lots of pressure from family and friends and not hearing from him, I filed for divorce. Then he called...and was upset that I filed. He has since been living in Texas with his mother, hasn't sent any money for me or the kids, and didn't come down for Xmas, yet still says he will come down this weekend. He calls me every other day, we still love each other, we had a fairly good relationship before all the madness started. Now he claims he is off drugs.....what do I do? Yes, I miss him, yes he his the father of my children, yes I left him and filed, and yes I know I can have a good life without him. But I do still care for him, and wonder if there is any hope at all for us to have any sort of future together anymore?
Marriage & Divorce - 18 Answers
People's Answers, Critics, Comments, Opinions :
Answer 1 :
maybe you should still get the divorce or stay seperated for a while. just give eachother some space. but since you do still care about eachother, stay close, see eachother daily, and eventually, things will work out
Answer 2 :
Have him take a drug test before you agree to anything else. If he's willing and passes, then you know at least that is the truth. If he's not willing or fails, then you know it's just another lie. No matter what, I would not let drug abusers near my kids, father or not. They don't deserve that.
Answer 3 :
He has a lot to prove before you should go back to him. You can't believe everything he says right now or you will walk into a trap. You also have the responsibility of making sure the kids aren't effected at all by him. Take this one slow and make sure you know what you are doing.
Answer 4 :
give him 1 more chance, if he is still drugy, then file again, it would be the best thing for you and your children
Answer 5 :
Sounds like he is not doing his part to put things back together. You would probably be better off moving on. However if you want him back make sure he is putting in the effort and let him know your expectations. Like you expect child support and regular visits etc. This may help see if he is really committed.
Answer 6 :
Depends on whether he's off the drugs. Ask his mother first, if you can believe her, or get a drug test when and if he turns up. If he's not, there's not much point, is there?
Answer 7 :
Don't drop the divorce - he should prove that he is off drugs, before you give him a second chance. This is not being selfish, this is being responsible for the well being of your children. If he is off the drugs, yes, give him another chance, but make it clear that if he EVER goes back to the drugs, you will not tolerate it.
Answer 8 :
I see the only way for you two to have a future together is for him getting help. On his own. He has to know that he has a problem. It doesn't sound like he cares too much right now. You just need to do for you and your kids. That is the only thing you have control over right now. Not him. You can't help someone that doesn't want to be helped. He might say he does want help, but until he gets off is butt and actually does it, don't believe it. I know it's sad, but true.
Answer 9 :
I think what you need to do for the sake of yourself-- mostly your children-- is give this man some time to himself and make sure that he is truly better. Think of how terrible it would be for their father to come back and have him still be a junky. Dangerous and terrible. Give this time. I realize you love him and he possibly still loves you, but it is in your best interest to see that he is not the man that he once was.
Answer 10 :
sorry to say. theres no hope when one party is trying and the other isn't. for one a habit is hasd to kick. And on top of that lies don't help. In the long run you did whats best for your safety and the kids. You never want to exspose them to drugs, or have them assume its okay for them to use by you staying with their dad.
Answer 11 :
well im not that good with relationships, but after reading this i think you should talk to your husband, face-to-face, and discuss what is going on and how you are feeling. talking may help.
Answer 12 :
maybe you should bring him back home and see how things go.. no harm in trying but if you dont try then it could all go wrong.. like, if you leave it too long, feelings could fade and then you'll have lost precious time together. work on it.. if you love him and he loves you then why throw it away for no reason.. if he says he's off drugs then believe him. if you figure he is still on them. get rid of him because therefor he lied to you and no longer can be trusted.
Answer 13 :
no because he will choose crack over family
Answer 14 :
Wow, you have lots of things to think about, and most importantly the safety of your children. Keep in mind the man you married and love is not the same man who is on drugs. I would advise you not to divorce. He is hurting and needs help. This would be part of the vows that gets tough "sickness and health". You stuck with him through the health hang in there. Separation and time for him to get back on his feet sounds like a good deal. If the shoe was on the other foot would you want him to give up on you? I would give it a couple of years more and then evaluate. Divorce is messy but I a lot harder to deal with the "what ifs and heart ache later. Sounds like your husband has some soul searching to do, let him know you love him, want to give him time to get better but you must protect yourself and kids by being separated. A divorce may push him even further into the dumps. Hope all works out well. Hang in there but don't give up. Think of the story you will have to tell if you make it through this!
Answer 15 :
i was with someone for 5 yrs and the first yr and half didnt know about it, well, he got help but this didnt stop him, he really drained me. i am still friends with him , he has a child as i do now, this was yrs ago he was like my best friend, but his addiction broke us apart it was like he got worse and it wasnt all the time , it was his stupidity and his behavior when he was drugged up, i left , im glad . do not let yr emotions get involved esp u have kids , if you love yr children more than him, do not let him back into yr lives.. even if he says hes done. i doubt it why didnt he call you? addicts lie all the time. self centered and lying go hand in hand. i cant believe you still are talking to him. you havent let enough time go by even for him to prove to you that he quit doesnt help with talking on the phone those are only words. Do not destroy yr kids lives , that would make you self centered. you dont want yr kids growing up blaming you for all the heartaches and they will tell you that you had many choices to make and you wanted the drugs back in yr life. divorce him move on he wont change and if he does it takes years and years usually before he decides that and you cant jeopordize yr kids for an addict. Also if something was to happen you could get yr kids taken away because it would be you who chose to endanger them around an addict.
Answer 16 :
Unless you are made of steel,your spouses addictions dont just bounce off you. They erode, chip away and penetrate your heart and soul. Its called the waiting trap. you know how when your in a hurry and you could take the stairs but instead you wait for the elevator. You wait 3min then 4. And you think it will be any minute and wait 5 then 7 then 10 min. Well your married so you think hell change and you wait 5 years hen 2 more then he promises to stop and change so you wait 1 more then it becomes 10 and there is no change. But your older and you now have teenagers with addictions and problems. read this poem: http://www.community4me.com/LETGO.html Love can become a habit. Just like alcohol to an alcholic. he was very important to you. You crave the security the predictability. You invested time and energy, memories, plans, dreams. To let hiim go is to risk. Its a loss of part of your life. Its scary. Security is gone and the unknown is fearful. But some relationships are like broken glass> Its better to leave them broken than to hurt yourself trying to put the pieces back together. Read your post. He has shown you no proof of change. He hasnt helped you. He hasnt thought of his kids or your funds. He hasnt even completed any program and believe me he cant overcome addictions without a long haul of programs and support groups. Hon, go to an aa group for the spouse of an alchohoic. It will open your eyes. You wil find your answers there. Good luck
Answer 17 :
Go to an Alanon meeting ASAP. They will help you sort this all out. The meetings are for the husbands/wives of alcoholics. I don't know if they have any meetings for drug addict's wives. Just call your local meeting and GO. They will Help more than anyone here!!! PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE. AGAIN, PLEASE CALL THEM.
Answer 18 :
It was doomed when you found out he was hiding a drug addiction from you where is the honesty and he cant think much of his kids if he didn't see them over christmas, It sounds as if he is just using you once you filed for divorce he got back in contact with you stay strong for your kids or he will end up hurting them

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